


october

by rivercallum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Based on a song, Before October's Gone, Break Up, Confused Michael Clifford, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad, Sad Michael, Scared Ashton Irwin, Scared Michael Clifford, by Cimorelli
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 10:11:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16239500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivercallum/pseuds/rivercallum
Summary: Michael wondered if he was on Ashton's mind.





	october

Michael wondered if he was on Ashton's mind.

Because the beautiful curly-haired brunette was on his. Michael was neck deep in love since the day he first met Ashton. The sparkling hazel eyes and radiant smile that lit a fire in his heart. He wasn't sure if Ashton still loved him.

It was February when Ashton moved in with Calum. The brunette said it was because Michael's house was relatively small and that he needed a more secluded area for his drum practice. Ashton promised that he and Michael would talk on the phone or Skype for as long they could.

Michael couldn't argue with that. It wasn't a big deal. They talked for hours each day, sending late night texts and then chatting the moment they each woke each other up with a call.

As the nights grew longer in September, Michael noticed he was barely seeing Ashton. They haven't been able to hug or kiss or have any private time. The only time Ashton wanted physical contact and affection was in the studio when they were writing together or recording demos.

He just wasn't sure if Ashton loved him the same way anymore.

* * *

Pictures and rumors were coming out about their relationship and why they haven't been living together or why they weren't going out as often. There were theories that they had broken up and others that they had left the band.

Michael snickered as he scrolled through the tag on Tumblr. Even if he was anxious about this situation, this was pretty funny. Many of the theories were wildly impossible and it brought a slight light to his ordeal.

During an interview, the inevitable question arose. Michael himself wasn't even sure about anything, so he just looked over to Ashton for help.

"We thought it would be best for the band if we all got some space. It was also the lack of space at Michael's house and the lack of inexpensive homes in LA that lead me to rooming with Calum for the time being. I'm getting there with finding my own place, I'm just waiting for some lower price tags you know?" Ashton laughed at the end.4

"Nah its just because Calum's like super obsessed with Ashton and is holding him hostage." Luke commented.

Calum laughed, grabbing Ashton in mock possesion and hissing at all of them. The situation was defused and the interviewer kept going with their questions. Michael took a deep breath and replayed Ashton's comment over in his mind. Crossing his fingers, the blonde hoped the curly-haired brunette wasn't just avoiding the question and that it really was just about money and space.

He desperately hoped that was it.

* * *

But like Michael feared, things were dwindling between them. It was late, and Michael was heading to bed. Texting Ashton good night, he stared at the screen waiting for a reply.

When the little gray bubble didn't pop up, Michael shrugged and put his phone on the charger. The brunette was probably busy or wasn't near his phone. But when he woke up in the morning, his heart sank a little.

There was no text goodnight or even a simple good morning. Taking a deep breath, Michael laughed at himself.

"Paranoid fuck..." The blonde muttered under breath, heading toward his door.

Grabbing his keys, he put Ashton out of his mind as he slipped on a pair of sweats and left the house to go to Luke's. Pizza, beer and some songwriting was what he needed.

On the drive toward Luke, Michael began to think about Ashton. He liked leaving calls earlier and earlier every night. Although Ashton always had good reasons for needing to go. Maybe he was just getting busy. He liked writing songs for days at a time before doing for a bit. Michael took a deep breath. He was just being paranoid.

Just as he's walking up to Luke's driveway, his phone goes off. Looking at the text, Michael smiled brightly.

_From Ash (US): Sorry for the missed good morning, I couldn't find my charger anywhere. I miss you. We gotta hang out soon!_

_To Ash (US): Its alright. I miss you too and what about Wednesday at six? We can have another driveway date._

_From Ash (US): That would be great!_

Michael knew he was being overly anxious. With a new bounce in his step, he continued his walk to Luke's.

Everything was going to be fine.

 

* * *

****

A few days later, Ashton was spotted out with another boy. Michael couldn't help but flip through the pictures in the latest tabloid and stare.

He began to panic as he read through the headlines. Could it be true that Ashton was cheating on him? Or was it that Ash just wasn't in love with him anymore and the drummer was falling for somebody else? Did Ashton really miss him or was it just something to keep him less suspicious?

Taking a deep breath, Michael tried to calm himself. He knew he wasn't supposed to believe the highly exaggerated stories about their lives. There were five pictures, all of Ashton and this unknown boy leaving a park and going into a restaurant. They just seemed like friends, so Michael's mind was eased a bit. Next time he saw Ashton, he was going to ask about it.

He feels like he's going crazy.

 

* * *

 

What's happening to us?" Michael asked on the phone one night.

"What do you mean love? Nothing is going on," Ashton asked.

"I mean...I barely see you and we hardly talk anymore. I could just be being anxious but...I miss you..." Michael said gently.

"I'm sure it's just your anxiety babe. Our date is on Wednesday right? We'll have the night of our lives I promise."

"Alright. Thanks Ash." Michael said, hanging up.

He knew he was just being anxious.

* * *

 

The night came and Michael sat in his hidden driveway, anxiously awaiting Ashton to show up. Headlights soon blinded him and he rose to greet his brunette boyfriend. Exchanging a kiss, Ashton got out of the car and swooped his picnic basket from the passenger seat.

Sitting down on the blanket Michael brought, they sat down and began to eat. They were feeding each other, laughing like idiots and Michael was sure they were back in Australian.

After eating, they were just laying down and stargazing when Michael brought up the question.

"So Ash...I saw those pictures on some magazine that Luke subscribed us all to or something. Who's that guy anyway?" Michael asked, trying to play it cool.

Ashton laughed. "We get those too. Luke lives for the drama and wants everyone else to be up to date on it. Anyways, that guy was a friend. Ryker. I met him at a park, a couple of months back and we decided to hang out for a bit. Nothing too special."

Michael made a noise of approval, shifting his head back to the sky.

He couldn't seem to get that name out of his head.

 

* * *

 

It was late, and Michael found himself missing Ashton. He would usually just call the brunette and maybe drive down to go and see him, but he was out with Ryker. They were getting drinks and going to a few parties here and there.

Ashton said it was nothing big but Michael felt a rock in his stomach. Reaching for his phone, Michael called his voicemail box. He always saved voicemails of each of the boys and people close to him so he could hear their voice if he needed.

_"Hey Mikey! I know you're probably sleeping right now, but I just wanted to call and talk to you. It's really nice back home, but I can't wait to come back to you and the boys. I miss you guys. Its funny how when I'm with you guys I miss my mom and siblings but now that I have them, I miss you idiots. Anyways, today was fun. We went mini-golfing and Harry won. Don't tell him, but I let him win by hitting my ball in the water. We also went skating yesterday and Lauren almost sprained her ankle but I made a save at the last moment. A little boy called me a superhero. It was so cute. Okay well, I'm running out of time so call me soon! I love you so much babe. I miss you lots. Bye bye!"_

Michael felt his eyes erupt with tears, and he threw his phone down on the bed. Covering his eyes, he tried stifling his tears. He longed for those times when Ashton was still close to him.

The guitarist still wanted to be in the same house with him. To sneak kisses and have pool parties in the dead of night because they could. He just wanted Ashton back.

But all he had was memories and a voicemail from last-September.

* * *

It was October when he and Ashton got into a fight.

"Why can't you come and stay with me?" Michael asked while laying on the couch.

"You know why Michael. I need space for my drums, and you have neighbors that would be bothered if I played drums too loud." Ashton said from below him.

"Would you want to buy a house together?" Michael asked. He was desperate for any closeness with Ashton.

"Maybe I just don't want to live with you," Ashton suddenly snapped, standing up from the floor.

Michael sat up, awestruck. "Y-you don't mean that..."

Ashton just shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"Michael, you know I love you but..."

"Do you want to break up?" Michael asked.

He was sick and tired of it. It was finally time for Ashton to decide if he still loved Michael or not. Ashton was silent.

"Do you or do you not love me? Answer my questions!" Michael yelled, tears in his eyes.

"No!" Ashton yelled, red in the face. "Not like I used to." He said in a low voice, before grabbing his phone and leaving.

As the door closed, Michael collapsed to the floor. He began to shake and sob. Ashton had never been cold like that. Never just outright left him alone to cry and be in pain. But Ashton wasn't his anymore.

He'd never felt more miserable in his life.

 

* * *

In the next two weeks, Ashton began to take Ryker out on dates. By November, they were serious and by December, they were official.

"What did I do wrong?" Michael asked, looking tiredly at Luke.

"Nothing mate. You didn't do anything wrong." The blonde reassured.

"Then why did he do this to me?" Michael asked again.

Luke thought for a moment before speaking up. "He didn't do this to you. Yes, he broke your heart, but you're bringing yourself down."

Michael's eyes widened. He never thought about it like that. Looking around, he sighed and picked up all the chocolate and ice cream containers that had been strewn about. After a nap and a shower, they cleaned the apartment and safely put up anything that reminded him of Ashton.

Stepping out of his room, Michael felt like a new man. He finally felt like his emotions were relaxed enough to live normally again. The break-up still hurt, but he was finally allowing himself build back up.

"Luke, get your ass up we have songs to write." Michael said, shaking the blonde.

"Right now?" The blonde drowsily asked, his hair sticking up messily.

"Yes right now. I want to go and write some kick-ass songs. We've been through the ringer this year, you with your ex-girl and me with Ash. Emotions help the process, and I want to write the best album ever."

Luke pondered this, before groaned and swinging his legs up. Michael cheered and hugged Luke before grabbing his keys and dragging the 21-year old out the door.

Michael felt free, liberated even.

* * *

The crowd went quiet as Michael tapped on his mic. It was approaching the end of their first 3rd album concert and he was buzzed. His heart was racing and his hands were shaking as he went to speak.

"This is a song Luke, and I wrote in December. It really means a lot to me and I hope you like it." Michael said as the stage hands handed him and Luke acoustic guitars.

The crowd cheered and waited for the song to start.

"This is called October." 

 

**Author's Note:**

> oKAY so this was inspired by Before October's Gone by Cimorelli, but I renamed it October cause it was cuter. okay thats all I had to say bye fam xx


End file.
